Haunted Obsessions
by Xx-Shlee
Summary: Obsessions brought up from the past. Why can't squall just leave her? New characters mixed in with Old ones
1. Default Chapter

The young man stared blankly at his lover wrapped in soft moist sheets. The silk sheets bothered squall..they were..too soft. Soft enough to remind him of her skin, her..forbidden skin. Squall stared up into the celing and exhaled.  
He couldn't lie to himself..it wasn't the sheets that were getting to him, it was the fact that he had layed with her in Balamb.  
Not just Balamb but in Balamb hotel, once where he had stared out the window secretley praying for a dream. His whole life, was nothing but dark hidden secrets that he never wantedto be unlocked.  
However,she..she had a way, she held his hearts key. He turned to look upon her and gently carssed her arm. Her soul reached out to him and for the first time in his life he let his feelings run free.  
He exposed all his hate,anger and all..all of his..love to her. Squall turned his body away from her and looked out the same window that haunted him.  
Balamb had never seemed more distrubing. Something..bothered him, the seas were rough and the sun kept dimming faster, hiding its rays.  
He got out of the bed and put on simple white shirt and shorts, Not his normal uniform but today..felt diffrent. His footprints made a soft thud on the ground as he walked toward the window and a soft breeze cooled his face. He leaned his body out the window and inhaled the breeze. "What a day.." squall murrmered. He ran his fingers through the cracks, feeling the tough grains of sand grind between his fingers.  
The thought entered his mind again..what was he doing here with her? Squall hung his head low and inhaled another breath.  
"if..i could take it i?" Turning to gaze on her beauty he admired her simplicty more and more.  
She lay naked in the bed with nothing but the silk sheets covering her olive skin. Her dark,long raven hair spilled messy across her face.  
The sweat had made soft curls sweep across her face, sticking to her fair skin. Squall smilied a bit, he found it arousing to see her sweat from their love.  
Her lips were cherry and warm with a taste of cinnamon. Something squall loved for every time he kissed her,the taste engluffed his mouth making him urge for more. Her eyes green and vibrant, glowing every moment she smiled. Not one imperfection on her body except for the small star shapped scar on her stomach.  
"What the hell did she get it from?" He thought. She suddenly turned in bed exposing her scar. Squall squinted his eyes and tried to study it more. "Would..would i wake her if i looked at it?" He ruffled his hair and slowly walked over to her resting body. He moved his hands over it and cringed. "It looks so weird.." and before another thought entered his mind he began poking it.  
"Man..it's such a deep scar. It looks like it would've hurt alot.". Suddnley a gentle hand grabbed his face surprising him. "Are you poking me?!" a playful voice exlaimed and Before he realized he had woken her, she leaped up and wrapped her arms around his sholders. "Poke poke poke..telling me to get up?" she clutched onto his chin and pulled him in to her kiss. Slowly she brought his body down and clung onto his back. She arched her back into to hold herslef up and cling onto him tighter."Her body..it's so... warm" Squall thought as he settled from the shock and his hands searhced her body. He felt like a teenager getting his first kiss, so eager, yet still..so..embarrassed.  
He realsed from the kiss to find his lover in tears. Quickly squall wiped them away and pulled her into his chest. "What? what is it? was i..did..did i hurt you? are you..are you in pain? whats wro.." Her silent sobs became loud roars of pain and sorrow.  
She let the tears flow from her eyes down her body brushing her breasts. Squall despretly carassed her face, it was so sudden, her tears had he hurt her eairler? "Please...please tell me..I..god..i didnt did i?" he stared at her fragile body thinking what a monster he was to hurt her.  
"No..no it's not that" she gasped. She wiped her tears and threw her body next to squalls again, feeling his heartbeat and breathing his scent. "he smells so comforting..he feels " the lover thought to herself.  
She rested her head onto his shoulder and let tears flow onto him and closed her eyes. Squall gently rubbed her back as he tried to soothe his love. Making coo's and sounds he would have to a baby he kissed the top of her head. Slowly..she opened her eyes again to see that The room was so cold and grey. The sun had then hidden it's rays completley and rain was falling down hard.  
She embraced him tighter and whisperd "it's just..i know..that..that after we get dressed and leave.." she broke into sobs again but tried to regain her strength.  
"Squall..its just that..we can never be..be..together after this. we..god" she burried her head deeper into his shoulder.."why must we hide it? Hide our love..Why????" her nails dug into his back and she sobbed louder.  
Her tear filled eyes looked up at her lover face. Why..was he not responding? Why was he not comforting her? She collected herself and combed her fingers through her hair. Pushing away from him she leaned against the bed post and exhaled. Closing her eyes once more she took another deep breath and ruffled squalls hair.  
She curled up her knees and placed her head inbetween them. Wiping away the last of her tears she whispered,"Im sorry for..for bringing it up. I'm being selfish. I..I know why and..im sorry..squall?"  
She latched her hands on his knees staring into his face. Asking again she whispered "squall?" He brushed her hands aside and ran again to the window.  
He had no where else to go..to leave in his current clothes, people would know why he went up here with her. To dress and leave her here..he couldn't. He was just..so damn..angry. "She knows why..why bring it up here..why not back at dollet or something?"  
He tilted his head onto the side of the window. "raindrops..great.." Squall thought crossly. He hated it when it rained, it made him hate eveything more.  
Squall turned around and faced his lover once again. Dropping his head and exhaling he mutterd "You know why...why..i can't love you." Squall brought his face to look at her again.  
She scrunched up her blankets and tears formed in her eyes again. "Im so foolish.." she thought. "this is so.....god..why..what..is this feeling. Why can't i leave him..I..i.." Soon her mild manner became outraged and she quickly got out of the bed.  
She felt expossed and dirty standing there naked in front of him and quickly found her clothes. As She headed toward the bathroom she muttered, "Cold heartless asshole." Her thoughts raced and only rage could fill her.  
"...whatever.." squall exhaled and began searching for his clothles. As he dressed he thought about her,"Women..they're so...strage." He changed and glanced in the mirror. What did she find attractive in him? He studied himself,and as he felt his face he threw he his hand down in disgust. "what the hell am i doing? Guys..dont..study themselves" he looked again at the mirror but this time dusgustingly. "Only irvine does for his pickup lines" squall walked away with a smirk on his face. Irvine was his friend but he was stupid. Trying to remember all the times him and selphie had fought anout irvine and his flirtatios ways, he soon lost count. With another grin on his face squall thought, "he may be an idiot but..i really think he loves her" squall reached under the bed for his gunblade. As he pulled it out and secured it in his belt he looked toward the bathroom.  
Was this..this..love?..dodging people and secretley having sex..love? He shook his head and tightend his gunblade. No, he had felt love before...this was something stronger. He couldn't ditch her no matter what. Squall sat on the bed and clucthed one of the pillows.  
Thinking about all the times he had tried to leave her, tried to tell her it was over his grip on the pillow became stronger, alomst till it hurt.  
Suddenly she emerged from the bathroom wearing her normal attire. Her curls combed straight pulled into a messy bun on her head. Dangling diamond earings shaking with her every move.  
A tight royal blue button down shirt with a pair of nice slender black pants, she had put on the necklace too.  
Squall loved that necklace, so intricate in the deisgn. It was a mass of pure gold lines forming into a shining ball. It looked like a tiny lock of some sort, but the way he messed with it while she would sleep brought another grin on his face.  
Gathering items around the room and trying to fix it up she paced back and forth through the room. Squall sat there and just stared blankly. "Um..do you need help?" he playfully said.She took one more glance into the mirror and exhaled. "Ok..whatever..are you ready to go?" her face looked anxious and still raged.  
Squall rolled his eyes and walked to embrace her. He quickly grabbed her waist and gently kissed her cheek. "Yes..Princess Amara" He grasped her chin and brought it to his lips. Amara pushed away and bluntly said, "We better hurry...Rinoa is waiting for you"


	2. Chapter Two

"Gah where are they?" Zell Dincht threw punches around by the Balamb garden gate and dropped his head.  
"They always take forever..i bet because amara wants to kick his ass"  
He grabbed his sides and roared with laughter. He thought it had to be one of the funniest things he'd ever said. Slowing down his laughter he looked up to see everyone glaring at him.  
"What..i on you guys, when they're together its like..HELL FREEZES OVER..she freakin hates him" Zell grew anxious wanting to recover from his stupidity  
"what?..i mean..ha..you agree..right..selphie?"   
Selphie rolled her eyes and leaned back on the gate. "No zell..i think your a hot dog eating jerk!" Zell jumped back surprised...  
"Me a jerk? What? What'd I say?" Suddenly he threw his head down and began shaking widly. "Im not a jerk..your just mad cuz irvrine left YOU" Before Zell had a chance to think about what he said Selphie had her fists in his face.  
"DONT YOU EVER TALK ABOUT THAT IRVINE DIDNT LEAVE ME HE JUST SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO BE IN THIS GARDEN SO SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH BEFORE I.."  
A gentle hand grasped on to selphie's shaking arms. "Selphie, thats enough" Quistis looked down at her and smiled gently.  
"Zells just being his normal obnixous self..remember?" Quitis placed her elbow on her palm and closed her eyes."we had this talk, dont take anything zell says seriosuly"" She re-opened her eyes and winked toward selphie.  
Quitis threw her fists up and immated him over reacting and in a deep whiny voice she grunted "no more hot dogs..what..man that sucks..imma whoop you". Selphie broke out in laughter and held on to the gate for support.  
Quitis then started laughing as well and tried to cover it up with her Hand, but her grin was domminant.  
"Man..you guys.." zell murrmered and walked over to the other side, kicking rocks out of his way. He pushed his body againist the gate and plopped on the floor. ".....suck..."  
Putting his head down to sulk Quitis ran to him and smilied. on..cant you tease a little bit?" she patted his face and walked back to the howling selphie.  
She was still leaning against the gate and Quitis began to find it annoying  
"erm..selphie..it wasnt that funny.." quitis nervously implied.  
She started feeling awful for zell, he was just sulking in the corner.  
"What are you talking about that was priceless!!!!" and roared even louder.. "uhn..." and quitis went back to go sit with zell.  
glaring behind her quitis walked the short distance to zell,her long legs tapping the ground and her tall slender shadow follwing her.  
Quitis bit her lip and stared down at zell.."hey zell, we..all apreciate you. We really do...honestly" and with that she slowly placed her hand on his shoulder.  
"..uhn..." zell gasped.  
He stopped breathing and his body tensed up. "Why am i so uncomfortable?" Zell thought. He squirmed his body around and inhaled a few breaths  
He turned his head and looked up toward quitis. The sun had made her hair glow brighter and her skin radiate with a soft glow. She smiled a bit and giggled, Zell..Blushed. He turned his head back down to the ground and grunted.  
"Damnit..why am i blushing?!?!?!?!?!"  
He gathered up enough courage to look at her again.  
She smiled one more time and soon the feeling came back to him. This time though he overcame it and asked..  
"Quitis?"  
"yes zell?"  
"Do.....do YOU..appreciate me being around"  
Quitis's eyes grew wide with surprise. "Oh dear..i..i wasn't implying that!" Quitis silently thought..  
She drew her hand back and clenched them both together..."Well..erm..of course zell!"  
Zells heart pounded and his face flushed. He suddenly jumped up and exlaimed with an anxious Smile on his face...  
"Ok then..will you go to the seeD party with me to..."  
But before zell got the rest out, Quitis had manged to run all the way back to the more giggly selphie  
"night..ttt..t"  
Zell dropped his hands and squatted back onto the floor. "grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" and without thinking, he rammed his fist into the concreiet..  
Zell's eyes grew open and wide, and soon salty tears formed in his raging eyes.  
His lips began quivering from the pain..and he opened his mouth slowly..only to exlaim..  
"SHIT!!!"  
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Amara Ran Swiftly through the door grabbing her shoes on the way out.  
Squall was standing there still surprised and upset.."No..no we can't leave it like this now."  
Squall pushed the door open and saw her fleeing body raipidly running down the stairs.  
He jumped down the stairs and latched onto her arm pulling her back into him..  
Squall pushed her body againt the stone curve ot the staris and secrured his arms around her side to as to make sure she wouldn't escape.  
She was panting heavily exhaling deep breaths..  
Her eyes raged and eyebrows arched as if trying to warn squall to let go of her now  
Squall leaned in to catch his breath and placed his forehead on hers  
He closed his eyes and took another deep breath in..  
"Amara..no..i won't let you leave like this.." he whispered. Amara turned her head making squall pull back in surprise..  
"you..you say you dont want me to leave like this...but what do you care.." Amaras lips began to quiver and she started shaking, but had an urge to keep her tears hidden.  
"The truth is..your afraid to love something new, to feel something true..your just stuck on some damn SeeD way of living.." She bit her lip even harder and soon the balamb breeze came sweeping across her face. Something moved her..something..chillied her very being...the breeze made her heart crush.  
Tears flowed out of her eyes and she wrapped her arms around squall.  
Squall accepted her in his arms and kissed her neck.The breeze made Amamars tears flow away and drop onto him, her hair whisked around and squall engluffed it all. He held on tighter than he ever had before..and let one solem tear drop down  
He Would never let her go..he..he hurt her  
He was..hurting her. Why, why did he feel like he had betrayed her? He felt like he didn't protect her. He pushed the thoughts aside and pulled her away  
Gently rubbing her shoulders he leaned in and kissed her softly leaving her short of breath.  
She sniffled and wiped her face, "Squall..i feel like a child around you.." she whimpered.  
He laughed a bit and pulled her back in. "Well..it would sure be wrong if you were my child" Amaras eyes widened with shock and she pulled back from him. "you pig!" she joked and started slapping his shoulders. Squall laughed and pulled her in one more time for a kiss. Amara giggled and mummered inbetween kisses little words of affection. The desk clerk looked toward the stairs and shook her head. Amara placed her shoes on her feet and held onto squalls hand. "Are you ready to go?" she whispered. Squall grew quiet and looked toward the doors.."after we leave..ill have to hate you ya know?" amara teased but squall shook his head and grunted a reply.  
"Will your promise me something mr.seeD?" she teased again..  
Squall grinned and looked down, "hm?"  
"Squall..tonight at rinoas and Seifers SeeD party..you HAVE to dance with me.."  
Squall tensed up and looked down and softly said,"Amara..you..know i cant dance.."  
She grinned and pulled his face down,"Which will make me look good right?"  
He laughed and exhaled.."I guess so..but..you know rinoas going to be th.."  
Amara hushed him and bluntly said "Yes i know, but you know the seifers going to be there too right?"  
Squall threw his free hand around to his back and scratched his head, "The more the merrier i guess..lets get you out of here before people think you killed me"  
Together, hand in hand they walked to the clerk, gathered amars stuff..and walked through the door.  
"Squall! ..it stopped..raining..i mean..all of a sudden..its like.." Amara froze and looked at the sky.  
It looked like it never even had a drop fall from it. Squall slowly walked toward the edge of the street. His shadow was perfectly clear and the ground was hot.  
Squall shurgged his shoulder and thought, "whatever.."  
"Its not a big deal amara..lets get going"and with that he walked a good 5 steps behind her pulling all of her bags  
She looked at the buildings and plants, studying them as if she had never seen Balamb before. She picked at flower petals and chased bees with her eyes.  
Her simple elogence and Innocence brought squall to a grin. The way the sun looked on her now, the way she was acting..had made him think about the first time he met her.  
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	3. Chapter Three

"Finally, Im a SeeD!" Rinoa exlaimed, she jumped around and laughed as though she never thought this day would come. Students of the garden laughed at her and smiled. They knew her as the woman who had changed squall's life. She was often seen just sulking around the garden while squall and the others were off running around. Rinoa Jumped down the stairs of the garden running toward the gate when she noticed the beautiful weather. Taking a moment to calm down she looked into the sky. "Finally...me and squall..we'll do everything with each other..and it'll be..perfect" Rinoa clasped her hands together as she thought of her lover. She couldn't wait till he came back, she just wanted to hug him, to embrace him. Rinoa knew she was in love with squall, it was almost destiny that they'd be together. Yet, she felt that latley something had been bothering squall, something was on his mind. "Oh it's not the first time he's kept something to himself but i thought we had gotten over that...shut everyone out thing" she let the thoughts run freely in her mind until a soft tap on her shoulder distracted them. Startled she jumped a bit and turned around to see seifer shyly standing there with a grin on his face. "Did you...did you make it?" Her eyes glimmered and a burst of emotion exploded inside. "uh...yea" seifer staggered a bit as he smiled at his former love. "Thats..GREAT!" Rinoa jumped into his arms and hugged him tight. Squeezing him hard she let out little squeals of excitment and jumped down. Grabbing his hands and bringing him into an awkward dance she shouted "ME AND SEIFER ARE SEED'S HELLL YA!" Seifer pulled away and laughed a bit. "What's gotten into you rinoa?" He had never seen rinoa so happy, so carefree. "Well DUH seifer, im a seeD. You are to! I mean, god i can't wait to tell squall. You should be anxious to tell Amara! I bet she'll be proud!" Seifer dropped his head and grinned, "amara.." he uttered. The name brought a ray of happined to him. She was absoultley the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. Something he was proud, well, to claim as his. Squall didn't have her, something squall didn't have that he had. He knew squall wanted her, he saw it in the way squall would stare at her. Those eyes, he hated it when squall made those eyes. So full of lust and want, seifer just wanted to punch him right there. But amara, she always wrapped her hands around seifers neck and soon he would forget why he was so tense and angry. "Amara..she's...great" Seifer slowly stepped down the stairs thinking of amara again. "Her smile..it's so beautiful. Those eyes, the way they look when i hold her. I wish she could know how much hope she gives me. How she keeps me going, i would never have done this if it wasn't for her." the thoughts lingered in his head until Rinoa interupted them. "Hey! Are you going to meet quitis and them without me and tell them MY good news?!..Wait UP!" Rinoa flew down the stairs and ran passed seifer, pushing him gently. "Come on! Squall and amara will be here soon" Seifer arched his back and pulled out his gunblade "Hell ya rinoa! We're Seed's!!!"  
---------------------  
Amara walked around the streets picking at everything she could find. She passed mrs.Dincht's house and waved hello. "Hello Mrs.Dincht, you've got scrumtpious smells coming out of your house today!" Mrs. Dincht looked up and exlaimed "good lord, is that you amara?! Where's squall? Coming along i suppose, you two should really try to get along better! Tell that hot dog loving boy of mine i said hello!" Amara giggled a bit and aggreed she would. "get along better...if only..people knew. I didn't hate him. I love him more than anything. Squall and i, we're just actors, actors in life. I just wish the damn show would.." Suddenly, a man grabbed her arm and pushed her into the car station. Amara tried to let out a scream but the man had covered her mouth with one of his hands while the other pulled out a blade. "...this should of ended years ago...godesss" the raspy voice sent a chill down amara's spine as she tried to break free from the hold. The strangers face hit the light and amara felt fear like she had never felt before. He was not human, but a decaying beast. With rotting green flesh, sulken eyes he licked the blade still stained with blood. "This ends NOW godess" Amara screamed, but still the hand held tight on her mouth. He rose his hand high, until suddenly, it fell onto the floor. Squall took another swing at the beast and amara watched the blood explode off the body. The beast let his grip off of amara and she screamed wildly. Squall took another mighty swimg at it's arm and the rotting arm flew a few feet away. He pinned the armless beast to the wall and looked him dead into the eyes. Squall's eyes filled with terror, he had never seen a monster like this. He pinned him up tighter onto the wall,"What the HELL ARE YOU?". The beast's eyes were flickering and blood flowed from his mouth, "you..must be the knight..it ends soon..it's to late to fix your wants the godess to dieeeee" Unstasifed with the answer squall struck his blade through the beasts heart. The beast jolted and finally, fell. Squall pulled the blade out and looked toward amara. Cringing in the corner she had tears falling rapidly from her face. Her hands were shaking as she looked toward squall. Squall wsa breathing rapidly, and dropped his blade. He was so...scared, what if he had lost amara? Amara crawled toward squall and grasped his legs. She sobbed into his legs, squall squatted down and held onto her. "squall..he called me the..godess" She looked up at him, so filled with fright. He brushed her hair from her eyes and smiled, "he's just a nut, some freak gone bad. Don't...don't let it get to you. I'm always here rinoa" Amara's heart shattered. She slowly pulled away from squall, and started to stand. Squall's body felt hot and he anxiously reached for amara "No..im sorry..i ment.." Amara Closed her eyes, and brought her hands to her face again. "Squall, let's..go" She walked out slowly, her shadow still lingering. Squall could her her shoes tap lightly on the ground as she started to walk out of balamb. "DAMNIT SQUALL!" He slammed his palm against his head as he cursed himself. His secured his gunblade and picked up amara's things. "Oh god, it won't be hard for her to act like she hates me now." He started running after her, but the thought still haunted his head. "Who's coming?"


	4. Chapter Four

Amara was so hurt, squall had slipped up before but it was nothing like this. She concentrated on the ground as she kept walking, counting her paces, doing anything to get her mind off of squall.  
"Damnit, im such an idiot, I didn't mean to say Rinoa..I didn't want to"

Squalls throughts were flooding his mind, he felt so stupid. He knew it must've hurt Amara to hear that. The air was stiff, hot; nothing seemed to be alive outside of Balamb. To Squall, the sea's crashing waves were comforting, they made squall remember the beach with Amara. That's how he fell in love with her; her tenderness, it radiated that day. A slight grin grew on his face, he could never forget. He loved holding her, he loved every minute he was with her. Looking up he noticed that Amara had stopped, squall quickly caught up and ran in front of her. She smiled at squall,

"Ok amara, just get it out and over with" It was so much eaiser said in her head.

"Squall, um..well thanks for saving me back there, i didnt mean to over react, let's just, well, forget about it?"

Her question floated in the air; waiting for a reply. Squall put her bags onto the ground and gently places his hand on her shoudler,

"Of couse, look im sorry, I know it sound bad but its not like that, I just --"

Amara picked up his hand and shoved it back onto his chest.

"Stop it you idiot, lets just go"

Squall stood in disbelif, had she really gotten over it so soon? "Come on squall, stop being lazy, pick up those bags and let's go!" Amara playfully pushed squall and started running toward the garden. "HEY no fair! I have alot of bags!" Squall smiled and ran to grab her bags, catching up to her he prayed that her visit would be this plesant"  
--------------  
Rinoa looked out past the garden gates, she could swear that she saw squall coming. Rinoa threw her hands up in excitment, "Look, AHH! he's here!" She pushed threw the gates and ran out to greet him. Quitis smiled, she envied Rinoa more than anything. "She's so beautiful...She was only here for a month and everyone loved her, i've been here for 15 years and still people haven't warmed up to me" Quitis placed her head onto her palm, maybe it was supossed to be like this. She would always be the older teacher, the one that guided everyone. No matter what she could never shake that image, it would stick to her. "So i guess, ill need someone totally opposite from me to fill that void" Quitis giggled, no guy had ever Really shown intrest in her. She couldn't remember the last time she had a guy even really touch her. It was depressing to think of it, she didn't want to be like this anymore.  
"Ill just try to get closer to people, thats it"  
She stretched out her back and jumped down from the steps. Selphie and Zell were still going at it, bickering like little children. Selphie had her fists clenched, screaming so everyone in the garden could hear Zell's secrets. "Your the One who Clogged the GIRLS bathroom because you went into the WRONG bathroom and made it smell like crap...LITERALLY"

"WHAT? WAIT! WHAT?1!"

Zell pushed right back into her face, challenging her cruel words. "I wonder, did my joke make tha big of an impact?" shrugging her shoulders,she walked toward seifer who was waiting silently, he looked bored but she knew better; he was dying for Amara to come.

"Another one who never warmed up to me"

"Perfect chance to try out my skills?" She silently strolled over till she was next to him. Seifer turned his head and exaimed her, obviously disgusted at what he saw. Suddenly, Quitis punched his arm and grinned, "hey," Seifer's critical eyes glared at her, "What they hell are you doing?" Quitis's spirit shattered and she pulled back her arm. "Heh, just playing i guess..well..ok" Quitis slowly turned around from seifer, she felt like an idiot. She cliched tight onto her shirt and plopped back onto the stairs, "god, whats my problem"  
--------------  
Amara's bags exploded everywhere, squall hadn't expected Rinoa's embrace to be so powerful. The minute her body hit his; he lost control and fell to the ground; bags flying everywhere. Amara ran behind and tried to grab her clothes that were flying everywhere. She ran bent over picking up ever peice of clothing she could find, the whole time squall lay on the ground entangled in Rinoa. She stopped picking up and glared from a distance. How could he say he loved her; look at him now, embracing Rinoa as though she had not exsisted. She clenched onto her garments tighter, feeling the cotton burn in her hands. Rinoa picked up her head from Squalls shoulder and pulled him up. Squall steadily pulled up only to get embraced again. Rinoa jumped back into his arms and buried her head into his chest. He smelled sweet, it was a wonderful smell, but not her own. Rinoa let her breeze through her mind as she just felt squalls warm body touching hers. Squall enjoyed this more than anything, to have Rinoa back in his arms. He did miss her, she was such a comfort. He placed his hands on her head and closed his eyes, the moment was so tender, so innocent. He had not yet made love to Rinoa, these moments were the most raw he felt with her. Squall tilted her chin; he gently pulled her in to kiss her, with such a gentle touch. Rinoa stood frozen in time, she had never felt so many chills, thrills, excitment. It ran through her time after time he kissed her. She held onto him tighter, letting herself get lost in his essence.

"I should know, i cant be so damn jealous." Amara wiped away her tears and started to pick up her clothes again. She couldn't keep feeling so angry everytime they kissed, it would eat her whole inside. Amara froze, had he made love to her yet? She never asked; she didn't like to talk about Rinoa the few moments they had together. She shook herself free of Rinoa's grasp on her thoughts and ran toward her bags; catching the few garments still flying in the air. Squall slowly pulled away from the kiss and gently carassed Rinoas cheek with his thumb. Her eyes filled with the same love as when he had left her. "Hey there" he whispered softly. She smiled and ruffled his hair, "you sure take your time! We've been waiting forever" Squall let go of her, he searched his mind thinking of an excuse to tell her. "Well, it was raining" Squall smirked and slightly shrugged his shoulders. Rinoa giggled, she didn't care the excuse,she kissed him again.

Amara ran right through them, "god you two are sick, get a room are something" she picked up her bags and turned around to see that they had latched onto each other again. Squall looked at her with a complete innocence, as he wrapped his arm around Rinoa's waist. "Yah, uh. thanks squall for picking up my bags? Your a real big fucking help" Rinoa jumped toward amara and grabbed onto her shoulder, she pushed her aside picking up a bag from the ground. "Were you two fighting like this the entire way? i should've guessed, why dosent seifer go to get you?" Rinoa gathered up the rest of the bags and kneeled on the floor. Placing all the clothes inside she packed them tighter than before. "You should calm down amara" she stood up and handed the bags to squall, giving him a playful shove. "Come on you guys, Lets go, we've got like 4 hours till the ball...do you have a dress amara?" Amara looked up, "yeah i have one.." Amara tugged at her shirt and looked at squall. Would her dress be as flattering as Rinoa's? Who would he think was more beautiful this night. Why hadn't he said anything yet, he was avoiding her. Rinoa grabbed Amaras arm and smiled, "well lets get ready then kay?" She kept holding amaras arm all the way till the garden, running the whole distance. Amara knew why Squall loved her so much, she radiated. She was so much more than Amara could ever offer squall, and watching Rinoa's carefree spirit fly through the wind, amara felt that maybe it was finally time she let go of squall.  
--------  
Amara Came bursting through the gates still latched onto Rinoa's hand, and Rinoa still smiling as before. Rinoa threw Amara across the floor twoard Seifer. "Ama.." Seifer dropped his blade and opened his arms to receive her; eyes wide with anticpation. She fell into his arms, locked and interlaced, perfectly fit. Seifer held onto her falling body and picked her up. "uh, ha you ok?" Seifer smiled a bit, he had changed since Amara had last saw him. His face was sharper, his hair a bit longer, the same smile, the same beautiful smile. His body was more lean, fit with muscle. His arms were still strong, stronger than before. His eyes still glistened and although she knew he was one of the most handsome SeeD's; he'd never compare to squall. Amara laughed and brushed her shoulder off, "Yea, i guess, i was just..um.." She felt seifer grab her face. His touch was so much more gentle now. Amara leaned in; she wouldn't lie, she wanted him. She wanted those angles on his face, and so she purged into the kiss. Seifer wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. Amara felt weak, she felt hopeless, whatever seifer wanted right now she would give him. Although Amara loved this moment, she wanted squalls touch. She wanted for squall to kiss her, his kisses had so much passion. Running her hands up seifers back she wondered, how a simple kiss could make her feel absoultey futile. "Yeah, we should get a room" Amara opened her eyes and turned around to see squall standing with her bags at the gate. He was sweating and his eyes seemed scornful. Amara wouldn't feel remorse; he was doing the same thing just a while ago. "well you two looked like you two were about to have sex on the damn floor" Amara smirked at how eaisly the tables had changed. Seifer was now holding her waist, staring down squall, and Amara just looked at him with complete innocence. Squall quickly looked toward Rinoa, her face was red with embarassment. He gritted his teeth and threw the bags on the ground, "take your own bags"

"Wait, what the hell are you doing squall?"

Amara pushed away from seifer and picked up her bags, "what you get your damn feelings hurt and act like a complete asshole?" she hated talking to him like this, love shouldn't be so complicated. Squall turned his head and walked toward the garden, taking Rinoa by the hand he grunted, "whatever". "Um..Amara, ill be by your room in a sec, i want you to help me do my hair!" Rinoa seemed hopeless, like a puppet being dragged. Amara watched as they walked off, feeling broken to the point of no repairs. Yes, it was time she ended this, she wouldn't let squall control her life anymore.


	5. Chapter Five

Amara felt sick just looking at herself. The mirror was lying to her; the beautiful woman she saw was not as graceful as it reflected. Amara traced her face in the mirror, why was she so disgusting? Rinoa bounced around the room, grabbing random things to help perk up Amara. Rinoa made faces, did silly dances and even imitated headmaster Cid. She coudl tell that her attemps were meaningless and annoying to Amara.  
"Come on Amara wake up! Are you upset about squall?"  
Amara clutched her necklace and lowered her head; feeling her chest pound. Biting her lip she felt the tingle in her face; the feeling she hated. She didn't want life to be like this, she didn't want Rinoa to live in the shadows of their secrets. Rinoa put her brush down on the vainty next to amara. Sitting down on the surface of the vanity, she brushed back amara's hair and picked up her face. "Hey, he dosen't really hate you, just..he's not the best on his emotions" Rinoa smiled, it was the most sincere smile Amara had ever seen.  
"Im..such..a horrible person Rinoa" Amara pulled away and burried her face into her hands. This had to end, Rinoa was being so sincere, so sweet, so understanding and all Amara could do was sit here; sullied with her lovers stains. "No your not! Amara.." Rinoa fell to her knees and pulled amara to her, she let amara sob onto her shoulder. It was a comfort to Rinoa, she wanted amara as a friend but she never could get her to really embrace her offers friendship. Amara wrapped her arms and around rinoa and sobbed into her. "No..Rinoa..i am...I'm sorry." She clenched onto her shoulder tighter and whispered, "Squall..i..love.." Rinoa pulled her away, "Hey i know! Getting you dressed! Once you see how sexy you look, youve lost weight..are you eating?" She jumped up and quickly ran to the hanging dresses. She unzipped them and layed them onto the bed, "Ohhh! wow! This is sexy! I get that ugly..seeD thing.." Amara wiped away her tears, she felt frozen; how could rinoa be so happy? "Thanks..i bought it from a store in dollet." Rinoa eyes widened, "That grungy town? they make dresses like this there, wow.." Amara closed her eyes,she forgot about the lights, Rinoa, the attack, Seifer, everything. She just wanted to be with him, god that's all she wanted.  
---------  
"excuse me, can i have a drink?" Squall raised his hands to the waitress walking by. She handed him some of the sparkling cider, half the kids in the garden wern't old enough to drink. He looked around the ballroom, Just like his before. There were girls in dazzling dresses and new garden students wearing their outfits for the first time. Crowds were everywhere and the room was freezing. Squall's eyes scanned the room, he wanted to find rinoa before Amara. If he found amara, he might do something stupid, say something else that would tear her apart. Squall gulped down his drink, no he wasn't afraid of saying something to her, he was afraid he would leave with her. "Maybe i would never return.." Squall threw that idea away, he knew he would come back. "Jeez why is this so complicated?" Squall looked around the room again until he saw a blur of zell running toward him. "Squallll!" Zell ran right up to him and shoved his shoulders, "hey man!" Squall fell back with a loud thud against the wall, "woah im sorry!" Zell extened his hand and patted him on the shoulder. "Isn't this awesome? I think this is better than ours was, sorry man..." Squall still tried to balance out, he was trying to put together what had just happened. "Uh, yah.." Squall stood back up and took another sip of his drink. A minute or two of silence passed between them till zell whispered, "Hey man, Amara looks hot huh" Squall turned fast to look at zell, "where do you see Amama?" Zell looked at him with suprised eyes, "what you gonna yell at her again? shes right there.." Zell pointed toward the door that lead from the girls dormatoriy; Squall stood in awe frozen by something he needed. She glisted in the glow of the lights, she appeared as if she had just stepped out of a sultry jazz song. Her low cut red dress fell so sleek onto her curves. The skinny straps hadrly hanging on, as if they were inviting squall to hold them. The satin hugged her hips as if it was a child clinging to it's mother. The dress seemed to melt onto her skin, from her shoulders all the way to how it gracefully fell onto the floor at her feet. Every inch of her skin ratiated and her hair pulled up, yet still her soft curls fell through. She looked up and immediately felt squalls eyes calling to her. Her green eyes burned with desire, she wanted to go to him; she felt the brilliance of her smile return his calls. She slowly stepped down from the stairs slowly, wanting this moment to go on forever.   
Squall placed his drink on the ledge behind him and began to bustle through the crowds of students to reach her. He felt the urge again, he knew that if he got to her his plans to avoid her would be ruined. Suddenly He could tell that this is what she wanted. He pushed through silently, watching her move across the floor to him. He had almost reached her until he saw him. Seifer ran up from behind Amara and gently kissed her neck, pulling back on her waist into his. He spinned the surprised Amara around into circles and took her deep into the dancefloor. Squall watched as Seifer whispered into her ear, he watched as seifer tugged at the straps. The straps that were just inviting squall had now found it's new guest; pulling as far from squall as they could go. Seifer looked up from Amara to face squall, and with a gruemsome taunt he kissed amara's neck with a complete sensuality.  
Squall stood there, not knowing what to feel. He backed away slowly, pulling away from something that seemed inevitable.  
------------  
Squall felt red with heat; Not only was Seifer kissing her, touching her and kissing her; he flaunted it the whole time. What was this? Did seifer know about squall's feelings for amara? He backed away feeling embarassed and ashamed, running over people cursing at him for pushing them aside. Squall couldn't care less he just wanted to leave. He turned around and ran swiftly toward the door bumping into a careless quitis, causing her to spill her drink all over herself. "Oh, um..I'm sorry" Squall bent down to pick up the shards of glass on the floor; Quitis stood amazed. "i was sure, he would have just left me here." her thoughts were growing more anxious as she watched him pick up the broken peice. Squall stood up and handed her a satin napkin. Quitis searched for something to say, something sweet and flirty. "ok quitis, don't blow this.." Quitis cleard her mind and took the napkin from squall. "That was truly valiant squall" a smile stretched upon her face, this was the moment that decided if squall cared. Was he putting on a show? Had her good deeds and crushes on him finally payed off. Quitis expected some sort of confession from squall,  
"quitis, i must admit the truth, i love you, now lets run away together."  
The thoughts nearly brought her to tears, that was the one thing she wanted; now it was clear. She brushed away her hair from her face and looked up at him again. "Thank you my knight" faking an obnoxious giggle she heard Rinoa do; Squall slightly pushed her away and grunted, "whatever"  
------------  
Squall walked onto the balcony and leaned over the ledged. The wind swirled through his hair, drying the beads of sweat pouring from his head. If seifer knew, did that mean the entire garden knew as well? He buried his hands into his face, exhaling deep breaths he heard steps coming toward him. "squall?" the voice startled him, he jolted up and turned around to see Rinoa standing there silently. "Oh, hey...your seeD outfit. Looks good" Squall turned back around and looked out across the sea. Rinoa smiled, pulling her hair back out of her face she glanced at the moon. "Wow, the moon looks beautiful.." Squall didn't respond but only dropped his head even lower. She walked over to squall pulling at a frustrating peice of hair. "Are you ok? What's been bothering you latley. I..I really would like to know" Squall turned to her, her eyes were so filled with worry and concern. Squall hated himself at that moment, he was causing Rinoa's face to look as melancholy as it did. He smirked and opened up his arms, inviting Rinoa into an embrace. She gladly took it and smothered herself in his jacket. Squall held onto her warm body, carassing her arm and kissing her head, her sweet scent filled the air. Rinoa looked up at squalls face radiating in the moonlight, "squall, i love you." The comment had returned squall to the world. It was what he needed to hear to get amara out of his head. He returned her glance and with a simple smile he leaned in and returned his affection. Riona felt dizzy as squall kissed her, she felt weak and lightheaded. With each lingering taste after kisses she felt more alive and more aware of her love for squall. His lips were soft and smooth, delciously comfortable. With each new kiss she felt how much more he wanted her, how much more he wanted to explore. Squall pulled her closer and inbetween the kisses he whispered, "i love you to" Rinoa let go and layed down on his chest once again, she felt immensly intoxicated with him. Squall grabbed her hand and interlaced his own hand in her's. Her fingers were so much more smoother than his own, this moment was perfect. Rinoa laughed soflty, "your almost 20 squall, we've been together for 3 years almost and you've never looked more upset than you do now." She smiled and kissed his chest. "I want you to tell me everything, tell me what's bothering you." she dug herself even deeper into squall. Squall didn't know how he knew, but he knew Exaclty what Rinoa was hinting at. Was he ready for it? He brought both of their hands to his mouth, and kissed her hand with a sincere tenderness. "Rinoa, nothing's wrong..i've just been thinking"  
"What have you been thinking about squall? Am i involved?" she poked his stomach and giggled.

"Well, yes you are."

Rinoa's heart stopped, Had he caught on? Squall turned Rinoa around to face him, the shock on her face was so recited it made him laugh. "What? Don't act like you haven't been expecting this.." Squall pulled out something from his poket, a tiny gray box that held Rinoa's entire dreams inside it. Squalls arm felt shaky,"I don't want to use this as an excuse to get rid of amara, but..." he exhaled deeply before bringing words to his lips. "I had picked this up, well to be honest, a year or so ago but something intervend with my orginal plan..but i think i can get over that." He looked up at Rinoa, the look still fierce with sheer excitment. He griped Rinoa's hand and brought it down with him as he got onto one knee, tryng to be as tradtional as possible. "Rinoa, uh, im not good at this, i don't really know..what to say..so um.." Rinoa couldn't beleive it. She wanted this more than anything, she was only 19 but she couldn't picture her life without squall. It was the whole reason she wanted to be a seeD, so that he would propose to her when she was ready. "This is so squall" Rinoa giggled as the thought entered her mind, "poor thing, he's so nervous" Squall took the ring out of the box and with it's stunning brilliance he placed it onto her finger. He kept holding onto her hands hoping she would anything, something, soon. Squall dropped his head and slowly let go, "rinoa?...i.." Squall felt her body fall ontop of his. She placed her cheek next to his own, and squall felt the warm wetness from her tears. "yes squall..yes"


	6. Chappter Six

The music was intoixcating, and seifer's hands were strong on her waist. Each spin was smooth, each step was seductive, and his eyes were so honest. Amara giggled when she noticed Seifer staring at her, "what are you looking at?" Seifer pulled close to her, "Amara, I...love you" His eyes grew wide with anticpation, want, desire. Amara couldn't tell him she loved him back, he deserved better. "I..." Amara pushed away from seifer's arms and lowered her head in the shame of her lies. "I.." she couldn't bring herself to say it. "What, you can't love me back? You honestly think what your doing with squall is love!" Amara quickly turned her head to look upon seifer. "You think No one knows! HOLY SHIT Amara, Rinoa is probably the only one that dosen't. It's so obvious, and here I am playing the fool for everyone. The girl I LOVE, sleeping around with the person I hate the most."

"SHUT UP, You have no idea what I feel for him or you, Squall loves me" Amara pushed her hand into seifers chest, she just want to punch him, slap him, squall loved her; she knew he did. "I love him seifer, I love squall" She grabbed her dress and started to take steps to walk away until Seifer grabbed tightly onto her arm. He wanted to get his point across. Seifer loosened his grip and brought his harsh tone to a whisper; he wanted to be delicate, "He dosen't love you, you've ruined his life amara, He had everything with rinoa and you, your so amazing that you just caught him offgaurd." Amara felt the tears well up, she hated the truth. She wanted to live in lies forever; life was so much simpler that way. "Seifer pulled her closer to him, seeing the destruction he was reining upon her. "He wants to marry her, and I think.." Amara slapped him across the face in the middle of his sentence, "you..pig. He would tell me..He never wanted to marry her. I'm not that big of a slut."

Suddenly head mister Cid burst through the doors holding a glass in the air and Squall in the other. A drunken Cid exlaimed to the ballroom, "Congratulations Squall and Rinoa, They're gonna get MARRIED" Squall shot his glance at amara. She couldn't breathe, her chest was heavy, and her arms felt limp. The crowd blurred, and everything grew faint around her. She hated everything; life, squall, seifer, she just wanted to be happy. In the back of her thoughts she could hear a voice talking to her, were people staring at her? The blurry faces grew darker and darker, until she couldn't take a simple gasp of air

Amara couldn't breathe, the air was too stale for her mouth. Dreams taunted her, lolling over her mind; causing pain that even her sleep couldn't drag her out of. Slowly, she fluttered her eyelids to adjust to the dim-lighted room. It was a SeeD dorm room, one she had visited many times before.

She looked around the room to find a darkened corner. Focusing on a figure, she soon made out the face of the deceitful liar she, at this moment, hated more than anything. Amara felt her chest swell up with rage again; everything hit her and memories flooded in. Squall was getting married; married, How could he? What of their plans and promises; Did he care at all anymore? Amara lifted herself out of bed and threw her sheets to the side. Swinging her feet to the side of the bed she gritted her teeth and lowered he head.

"I really was just a fling squall, god you son of ---"

"Stop, you need your strength"  
His hand grazed her shoulder, but she still kept her head down. She hated his touch; she was disgusted by it. It made her skin crawl yet it tingled deep within her heart and she couldn't bring herself to nudge him off.

"Squall, leave me alone."  
The words hit cold and hard. Just as a frozen winter whimsically passing through a once warm summer day; it hit like ice. Squall pulled back. He knew he had hurt her, he honestly hadn't meant to; Rinoa was just his life now; it would seem cruel and harsh if he left her now.

"Squall, I just want you to leave, no I'll do it, I'll leave"

Amara placed her feet onto the floor, her tingling feet searched for her shoes tucked under the bed. She slipped into them and stood up, balancing out from her faint and anger.

Squall grabbed onto her arms, trying to keep her in one place.  
"You fainted, I carried you here. Rinoa and Quitis were here for a while, but I told them you could stay with me and Rinoa said she'd check on you in the morning. I meant it. You can stay in here, with me. "

Squall grabbed amaras' necklace, the same intricate design, bedazzling and mysterious; Almost exactly like Amara. Squall felt his heart pound as he slowly caressed her jewelry and seductively touching her chest. Bringing his hand onto her collarbone, across her shoulder, back up to her chest and onto her face. He wanted her to just stay; he just wanted her near.

"I, really do want you to stay"

Each word slowly lingered out of his mouth, hoping his seduction would work. She pulled her hand back and slapped him across the face. A loud thunderclap exploded across the garden that night, shattering the ears of the unknown and waking the dead. Her rage was out of control.

"I'm sick of this, I'm sick of you. From tonight on, you ever touch me again, I, Damnit squall I don't know what I'll do but I sure as hell know I won't like it. Just ---"

She was quivering too much to say the rest; she was filled with sympathy, hatred, remorse and lust. She jeered around and stomped to the door, almost reaching the knob before she ran back to him and shoved him into the wall.

"How dare you, How dare you! You propose the one you obviously "love" and then try and sleep with me? Squall, are you really the man I thought you were? I can't look at you anymore! I hate every kiss I ever wasted on you, kisses I thought were passionate and wonderful.  
Sex I thought was worth our love, our love I thought was worth our sex! You leave me, you leave me, ALONE."

She couldn't control her shaking now. She ran back to the door and reached salvation as she heard the door slam shut and tight behind her. She fell to her knees on the outside door and felt the warm tears roll down.

Squall touched his pulsating cheek; the summer was over and winter was going to move in uninvited and unwanted.  
----------------------------------------  
"Amara, don't cry. You still have me"

Amara looked up to see Seifer hovering above her, his eyes forgiving; offering her redemption from the sins she had committed against him. Seifer gracefully brought her to her feet and pulled her waist into his waist. He pushed her slowly against the wall, keeping his eyes focused onto hers.

The tenderness from his kiss melted her; he had kissed her as if it was their first time. His waist was warm against hers, his chest was heavy on her own, and his breathing had made her drunk with lust. He guided her with his eyes, keeping them focused on her, into the depths of his own room.

Slowly guiding her onto his bed; he performed one graceful move after the next. Clothes fell like snow, dropping down slow and heavy, covering the floor until morning. Sweat covered the sheets now stained with careless love. Amara's thoughts ran wild; she wanted to forget everything. She wanted to forget Seifer gently making love to her, as if he were afraid to and unsure if it were painful to her. She wanted to forget Squall making love to her, knowing every corner of her body and where every touch made her gasp, begging for more. All she needed was a deep sleep. A deep, dark and long dream; One where her haunting obsessions left her alone.  
----------------------------  
Rinoa was worried; squall had never looked so upset when Amara fainted. He pushed people, stepped on students, even threw Zell to the ground, just to reach her before her head hit the ground. Then he almost wept looking at her and delicately stroked her hair, trying to get it out of her face. He cuddled her close and tried to hold her hand, but no too much. Squall was never the best at public affection.

That why it was so odd. He never kissed Rinoa in front of people, only Amara, and he never touched her or giggled with her out in the open or around the garden.

To see him run to her and hold her, screaming for help, then lifting her to his room in desperation to heal her almost made Rinoa, uncomfortable. Rinoa pushed the elevator button to 2F, her and Selphie were having breakfast together and Selphie was upstairs in her first class.

The buzz of the elevator snapped her back to Reality. Squall loved her and she knew it; the ring on her finger was proof.

Stepping out of the elevator she heard two Cadets giggle. They seemed to be only fifteen or sixteen; laughing over some boy. Memories of her and Selphie talking and giggling over Squall made her laugh herself and she casually walked toward them to hear their whispers.

"Squall is so cute, Rinoa is so lucky!"

"Yeah, I wonder what he's like, you know--"

"Your horrible!"

"What? Like your not curious?"

"Well sure, but I mean we could just ask Amara. That's squall's little side dish and everyone knows it. I can't believe they try and deny it."

"Look who's horrible now! Well, I would let squall cheat on me, as long as he came home, it'd be fine. It' just a little fun. I'd be getting his real love and affection and isn't that what matters?"

"She's stupid thought, she's got Seifer and Squall? Jeez, talk about--"

A red-face Rinoa hurriedly passed them to hear surprised gasps behind her, she didn't want to hear anymore. Since Squall and Amara had first met she had always heard rumors fly around about them, it was aggravating. Young cadets that thought they knew something about people's lives, sit around and just share the most shameful and hurtful things. She had enough, even Instructors were trying to pry into her relationship with Squall. It seemed as that their public relation consisted of Squall, her, and Amara; if there was a rumor about one, it was about all of them.

Somehow, she always convinced herself, they were just rumors.

Just rumors.


End file.
